My pile of work just decreased by 1 after submitting the history report online, now i just have to print it and give the soft copy tomorrow…

Anyway was looking through my email just now and i saw someone’s confession to my gf, Jess. And then, this came into my mind instantaneously…

I don’t know. The confession just made me feel like: Wow! This guy really, really likes my best friend. Although, yeah, stalking is kinda scary. You know i always have a impression that guys don’t like to show their real feelings and thoughts? Hell, that guy just proved me wrong. Level of dedication: 9000 sia! At least this guy has some balls to be honest, unlike some asshole whom at times makes me wonder if i know him at all. And really, after reading that, i do feel like i don’t know him at all. I know everyone is different and all that, then i guess that’s what people say: He’s not my type. I mean, i don’t need a level 9000 dedication but if it isn’t something mutual, then seriously, GOTTA FORGET ABOUT IT, M’KAY!

The connection is seriously like the welding rod accidentally fusing with the metal rod that begins with a spark: you gotta shake it hard to break it apart, man…

Yeah… Anyway, if you peeps haven’t realised it on Fb yet, i’ve been spamming  the Assassin’s Creed series on the wall… Oh well, one of my dream job was to become a ninja or some sort… so yeah, it’s like a dream come tru~~~~~~~~~~~ with a hot Italian guy! *0* (Yes, Italian guys are officially hot now… will be making a lot more spaghetti for lunch… )

Oh well, back to reality now…. DINNER TIME~  Mamm Mamm~!

Well, of course it doesn’t help. Pretending doesn’t help because the world doesn’t. It’s like this sob story doesn’t move on when im dying to.

My sister’s in the room, i want to talk to her about funny situation in school today, but after writing all these, she’d probably have gone to sleep and i’ll have a wet pillow tonight.

Why it doesn’t move on:

1- I still see him next door

2- He still comes to the sculpture workshop once in a while to find the technician

3-He SUDDENLY talks to me on my comment

4-Some ASSHOLE still assume we’re very close and to hide the embarrassment, i’ve to deliberately go: WHAT~? O-o and smile.

5- The main point: I don’t know if we’re still friends a not because he comes and talk to me around once every fortnight/month or so. So it’s a pretty huge shock when he talks/comments all of a sudden.

And im dumb enough to talk to him again and again because i feel guilty for ignoring anyone when they try to make contact to me. And once again, i create reasons as to why he does that.

Note to self: He’s not ever, EVER going to turn back like you imagine/dream all the time. Stop that! He don’t need you, therefore you don’t need him. Who’s the one suffering for the past 3 months? You! Not him!

Seriously, i want to get seriously hurt so much so that i’ll give up wholeheartedly. I can totally understand how those spirits feel in limbo now.

Remember: You give up not because he don’t want you, but because you don’t need him.

Why?

Because i keep getting ulcers from biting myself (accidentally) and “heaty-ness”… Horrible… If my mouth is ever free of ulcers, it will only last for a few days before something happens.

Maybe i should put braces… Ugh~~

Anyway, for the first week, well, it feels like a new year, that’s for sure. PP class is pretty easy, thing is how to score an A since it’s so easy… Then Terence yahdahkahdoodah before actually talking about Final Cut Express lessons for 10mins… Wednesday’s major day where i get to spend the WHOLE day doing welding like a construction worker! Thursday’s a free day for now since it’s History E learning, and then we’ll get bathed in the sun for about 1/2 an hour on Friday for landscape drawing…

Now it’s just about Ahb-struckt(abstract) class now… LOL, alternative drawing strategies… At least i might have a higher chance of scoring B for this compared to Figure Drawing…

So yeah, i’ve to jaga all these and Japanese cause i want to take the JLPT N2 test in December. AND! Also not forgetting to work as well…

There goes my youth for this year… I read through my cousin’s Japanese textbooks for beginners, and i feel completely screwed because i only knew half of the book. The other half about grammar and sentence structure is a complete goner. Esp sentence structure because you have to be very literal in Japanese. (As in, you will have difficulty in translating if you beat about the bush)

Then again, i shall work hard so i don’t bring my conscience down… haha

i thought that i have moved on, but sometimes i still think about him. Why do i have such infatuation for an asshole? Must i really see him with someone to make me give up? Stupid brain, really. It’s kind of getting on my nerves.

Actually, if i think about it carefully, its more of how i mishandled the situation than the lingering feelings. I mean, all my friends and my girlfriends are telling me that he’s just a piece of shit: i should have done this, i should have said that… i always thought that if i ever loved someone, i should pour my feelings into in and do what my heart tells me to do, because that’s being myself.

Then i realized: This is not the world of Disney, im not even a princess in reality.

So yeah lah, i keep asking myself why i didn’t do this and that X100. And when i was asked: Don’t you know that by doing this = yadahyadahyadah… Then i also asked myself why didn’t i think of that?

But anyway, it’s over. I need to stop imagining if he would turn back and replaying scenes in my head again and again…

Had a great day with my secondary peeps yesterday. Had awesome food, had awesome time. And helped me sleep better yesterday night because i was freaking tired after that! Strange how we’ve gone on separate ways doing different things but still can talk about so many stuffs. almost midnight already still haven’t say enough yet… hahaha… All upgrade become aunties liao…

This semester have quite a number of modules to my liking. Like Music SAS! Wooooh! For some reason, im really addicted to Suemitsu and the Suemith. His piano is so happy… …

(thinks) Pianist bf? I think very hard to meet a pianist already, let alone a bf from the Music Department… -0- Why they separate music and art in different campus? Don’t you know that music and art are inter-dependent? Hahaha! Excuses to meet pro musicians. I mean like, come on lah… sculpture workshop’s “music” will totally overwhelm the music from the orchestra.

woke up early today to register for modules… actually way before my alarm rang because the Banana woke me up. Then was in a total mess cause it’s the first time the stupid registration thingy made me go back and forth from panel to panel, and im like: please don’t make me miss a CDE/SAS… which of course, didn’t happen or i would be super whiney and “dare-ver-state-ted” (Barbarella).

So, yeah, im now multitasking between wrapping my mom’s gifts and making porridge for the family… and im quite sure i won’t be able to pay the damn school fee today either because i forgot to bring/ask for it, or my dad hasn’t arrived home before 2pm to issue the cheque…

gtg…

OMG… I can already see myself scoring GPA3.0 for graduation.

The most shocking thing was scoring an A for Digital and Time-based Media… i mean… i think my Flash animation was kinda, well… crappy… And I expected my elective to get C also since Ms Tang was kinda strict also even though, during feedback, i did ask for a B and she gave it to me…

So happy… well, the only thing that is bringing me down now is trying to find my lost Year 1 result slips… Sigh…

My bank account is in deep shit again… i need a job again but for some reason, they like to reply my application when i’ve returned to school or when i’ve gotten another job… -0- Apply for events helper or art teacher job… seriously, i HATE having to serve locals. it’s like a suicide job for getting scoldings for the littlest things… or well, maybe im the kind of person who don’t really understand the needs of customers… Hah! I wouldn’t last in a 5-star restaurant on Orchard Road…

Anyway, since i’m completely bored, i shall do a little reflection on my previous blog on blogger… Seriously, dance changed my life. I went from a nerdy, goody-2 shoes into a complete slack… Hahaha… but that’s not what i really meant… i think dance changed me to into a slightly more automatic and confident person. I’m not afraid to speak my mind out now compared to say, primary 6, when I’d just stumble on my words and let people push me around.

Then after that i get to do awesome things like applying for my first job and school. Awesome times…

Now i gotta deal with the next inspiration of my life: Sculpture~ Hohohoho~